Saturday, June 23, 2012
Disco Wanda's New Body
Disco Wanda here. Yall might remember me from the Morristown Wedding? (Laughs.) No, I was not the bride. I was one of the guests. I went with Old Joe and some teenagers? Yes, ma'am, that Wanda. Anywho, I just wanted to holler at yall and let yall know that I gots a new body now. Yes, indeedy. A new body.
Now that don't make me no new woman. I am still the same Disco Wanda who loves to party, but I can boogie better with this new body. A Monsieur Z gal named Jungle Fever, had it before me. See that tan safari top that some um person like to call a dress? That was her style, but yall remember me. And one thing I am not is a hootchy woman. Not Disco Wanda. I likes to party, but I party like a Lady. First and foremost. My Momma didn't raise no hootchy mamas. So any perves out there, look your look 'cause you ain't ever gonna see me dressed like that again. My old top, skirt, and belt is a little too big for me now. This one skinny body. No offense meant, yall. And like I said, well, my old top surely is too big - but I ain't gonna be gadding about in slut-style. No, indeedy. The Good Lord did not mean me to be a hootchy woman. My Momma did not raise no hootchy woman. So I will find me some decent, Christian clothes if I have to expire in a tweed coat over the summer. Not that I am planning that, yall. Just saying how far I will go to not be no hootchy woman. Not saying God don't love hootchy women, but I ain't going down that path, hear?
"Wanda, your Momma's calling ..."
Okay, tell her I'm comin' chile.
Ain't that nice, yall? One of them little chippies telling me my Momma's on the line. Lord, I better get there. Momma don't hold with no long distance playing. I just wanted to let yall know about the new body and how I am going to put it to good use.
"Wanda ... "
Alright, alright. I'm coming. Yall take care, now. God bless ...