Sideshow's Cordelia from Buffy/Angel Fame

A Vampire Diary: Hair War, Part One

I’m gonna get that b, TJ. Lookit what she’s done to me. Me, the Great [No]Angelus surrounded by a swarm of noisy teenagers. Talk about your basic bad trip. I don’t care how cute she looks when she spazzes out over her mussed hair; this time it’s war, and I mean BLOOD war.

Flashback: Halloween night. TJ had been on me about buying a gray skeleton. Hello? Had she ever seen a real skeleton? Did she think they bleached their bones to glow in the dark? I mean, I went out. I bought that stupid plastic skeleton. Sure it was a cheap one. She was only using it for one night. But, no, I ruined her holiday party. As if the kids would be spooked by that crap. Post Freddy days, TJ. Bad choice on your part.

So, I was kinda peeved at her. Maybe, I felt a little mean. Unappreciated. Hurt. I mean, how many vampires go running to dollar stores to buy stupid plastic skeletons to scare kids who have no fear of plastic bones? Just setting up my defense here.

Few days later, she has fried flounder. No, I didn’t eat any. But ... I poured some of the leftover grease from the fish into her hair pomade. Grease is grease, right? Well, not to Miss TJ. Next day, she goes to straighten her hair with a metal comb. Sets the comb on the stove burner to heat. Then she applies some of the grease to her hair and smooths it out with the hot comb. Her face crinkles in the most adorable way. If I weren’t busy sidling to the door, I’d have taken a photo. She sniffed her fingers, then the pomade. Pomade jar fell out of her hands. She screamed my name – and not in a satisfactory way, I might add – and ran for me. I bolted out of that kitchen quicker than the proverbial bat out of Hell.

(Makes you wonder what’s a bat doing in Hell? Sure they’re ugly suckers – ha, ha, pun intended … whoooo … I crack me up sometimes – but that’s got nothing to with their moral character. Note to self: look up the bat in Hell reference.)

Anyhoo, I have had to avoid Ms. TJ like the proverbial plague. (Understandable that because who wants to cuddle up to a plague? I mean sickness and death, all that rot. Rot? Hooo hooo! If TJ doesn’t get me, I will with my own jokes. Hoisted by me own humor.) No sense of fun, that TJ.

But you are wondering why I am here at the Spendthrift Mall. Why I am being assailed by teenage girl voices and grubby teenage girl hands? (Didn’t girls used to aspire to be ladies? Didn’t they used to wash their hands? One minute they have their hands in their mouths adjusting wads of wet gum – eewwww – and the next, they are grabbing my person. Hey!) But back to the present. How did I land in this fate worse than death – and I did death so I know of what I speak.

Ms TJ the B. Yeah, she tricked me into coming out of hiding. Hiding? Well, maybe just a sabbatical. I mean, I wasn’t really afraid of a slip of a chick like her. On her tippy toes. Not even on solid flat feet. No, I was just chillin’. Giving her time to remember what a hoot I am. So she sends my buddy Barnie after me with this fake truce. Oh, she misses me. Could we please hang out at the Mall as neutral territory? Meet as though nothing ever happened. Made me think all was forgiven. Famous last dumb thought. Can’t believe I fell for it.

Barnie now – being an old-school vamp and none too hip to the ways of women today – fell for the deception. Barnie wants to woo teenaged girls because he thinks that is the in thing. Whiny, self-absorbed teenaged girls who lack the rudiments of decorum and hygiene. Oh and the horrible din of their high-pitched prattling and the impertinence of their dirty paws. Shudder. Any guy, vampire or other, who’d think the tender flesh was worth enduring all that … well, he can’t be too bright. Poor Barnie.

Whoa. Poor Barnie? Poor me. TJ told these fem-gnats that I booked some vampire named Edward – a sorry vamp poser, if half of his history is to be believed – so now they are after me. So I can help them flay this punk. Like I would hang around some vamp glow worrm. A dumb vamp who lingers around high school seeking the company of teenaged girls. Actively seeking them. You feel me, right?

Dumb vamp is smitten with a drip called Betty. Betty keeps begging Edward to bite her so that she can live with him eternally. Like being a vampire isn’t hard enough. Yeah, let’s live with a teenaged girl forever. Her always expecting a guy to gaze into her eyes. Do nothing. Be nothing else. No sports, no solitary jaunts to the woods. Nada. Lookee me, lover. Lookee me. Now that is Hell.

Shriek, buzz, shriek, buzz … girls surround me. Insistent that I yield up that pathetic excuse of a bloodsucker.

I’m not going to kill TJ. I’m not going to turn her. But I will get her back for this. Her hair is her weakness. I gotta figure out how I can muss her hair real bad …

Bewitched and Bewildered by Boxes, Part 2

Who doesn't love action movies?

The go-go-go pacing, the high-speed car chases, the boom and mushroom of explosions, balletic dances with bullets a la John Woo, whodunnit and maybe whydunnit sometimes conclude with the protagonist triumphant. Applause. Good plots are nice, but if the action clicks, we can suspend disbelief or laugh at the logic defying scenes. Action movies are fun. So when an action figure box captures some of that excitement, who can throw away that box?




Behold - a Sideshow Collectibles box works its mojo: the box front incorporates art from the then-current movie posters. Relevant details such as the movie series and title, Goldfinger, and the actors are provided as well as the company name, and the size of the figure. Please note also that the box contains small parts NOT suitable for small children. Oh and to the right in modest red letters, we have the name of the character inside the box, Odd Job, and the actor playing that role, Harold Sakata.




Next, we open the front flap to find the movie title, its plot, and the characters along with the actors playing those roles. And yes, that is Odd Job the action figure seated. [Note on the opposite side of the box there is a clear window that would show the action figure along with any accessories created for him. Since I opened the box and mislaid the inner liner, I will not photograph that side.]




The box back gives us Mr. Sakata's biography, photos of both the action figure AND the actor, the villain gadget - his bowler hat - and more information about the James Bond series.





Last, a side view of the box and Odd Job again! So much information and so beautifully laid out. This box is a keeper for its pop culture value. At least until or unless I find Mr. Odd Job a better protective "home."

P.S. Odd Job is not full-figured as he looks clothed. Under his jacket and shirt, he wears a "fat suit". I will post photos of the figure and his clothes in another post.

The Vampire Grabbed My Hair ...

and I grabbed the Holy Water.

Thus a vampire learns that you do not touch a Black woman's hair.

Fellow DAF blogger, E.A. of Blog of Eternal Stench sent me this link to a Boston Globe article about the Mattel So in Style Barbies and the good hair focus among Black women. This article stimulated the above Halloween photograph.

Integrity Toys' AA T.J. struck me as the perfect actress for this scene: her hair is sleek and straight. She has an elegant, formal air. I could see her being annoyed at any handling of her hair. Angel is one of my few adult vampires; he struck me as more likely to bite T.J. than Barnabas. (Added bonus; he was quicker to debox LOL)

Comedian Chris Rock has a movie about good hair and Tyra Banks offers more information about this phenomenon.

"Borrowing" Mixis Fashions - Impromptu Fashion Show

Ever wonder what other dolls or action figures can wear Mixis fashions? I had submitted photos for a thread on this query at the Men With Dolls board. Below are some additional photos of other dolls and action figures wearing Mixis fashions.




Sideshow Buffy wearing LE Rosa's brown shrug and LE Opal's pants, Mego Diana Ross wearing LE Emerald's turquoise tank and LE Rosa's denim mini, and Lanard I-Girl Rio wearing LE Opal's orange tank and LE Emerald's denim mini.




BBi Perfect Body Hispanic wearing Happy Family Alan's shirt and LE Opal's pants, Jakks Pacific G.I.R.L. Force Kulture Shock Jaz wearing Sunshine Opal's sundress, Get Set Club Fiona wearing Sunshine Houda's sundress, and Get Real Girl Gabi wearing LE Opal's orange tank and LE Emerald's denim mini.




Fashion Fever Barbie (Belly button body) in LE Emerald's tank and LE Opal's pants, Ladies Mission Nun Kyoko Tenryu in a Ken tee shirt and LE Rosa's denim mini (stockings, boots, and cross her own), and Jakks Pacific Jaz showing the back of her borrowed sundress that - yay! actually closes - fits.




Surprise! Paparazzi Bait Adele in Sunshine Rosa's sundress.